As the title suggests, things haven't gone too well since my last update. My Carbon bankroll was up to a high of $809 (+$179) and thinks were looking great. I was playing well, making good decisions, and felt confident. But today I took a nasty spill that I don't even want to think about. However, this blog can't just be about when times are good, it has to capture the whole journey. I went from $809 to $504. A $305 downswing. I could go on and on about the bad beats I took, the countless 95/5 favorites that I got in and lost, but I'll just leave it at this- I lost $305 over a course of 41 games. A lot of the time variance got the best of me, and other times I tilted away. Either way, I have to straighten a lot of shit out with my game.
Tomorrow I have a coaching session with PHMERC. It's coming at a great time because right now the confidence I have in my game is a bit rattled. I felt like I was being push around today. Every cbet was repopped, every draw an opponent had hit, and my big hands somehow became meaningless by the river. I'm hoping to do 1 session a week with him and really work on plugging leaks I have.
I'm trying my best to stay positive. This is the biggest downswing I've had in online poker. I've lost more in single sessions live, but that can happen in just 1 big hand. To lose $300 playing games 11-34s, that means I got my ass handed to me time, after time, after time. Not just 1 hand.
Important things to take away from today's experience: I am definitely susceptible to some mean tilt. I used to brush off losses because the money didn't matter when I used to play the 5s, but since I'm trying to take this more serious it is taking a toll on me when I lose. I have to set guidelines or rules to follow to prevent another session like this happening. For now, these are- if I lose 3 games in a row, get up and leave the room for a few minutes. Walk outside, take my mind off it. Even if I'm not feeling angry, just do it. Another rule is related to winning- if I'm on a win streak, once the streak is broken, get up and follow rule number 1. Moving around to clear the mind will be a good thing even after a series of wins.
Sorry this was a long post, but it was a long day. I remember being down $40 thinking "man, I have to get back on track", and next thing I know I'm stuck $300 wondering how did I let myself dig a hole this deep. I'll get back up, that I'm sure. Stay tuned guys, the comeback is about to begin.
Here's a fun little graph that shows how my day was. Exciting, exciting... lol
